It's all me, me, me...

My Photo
Vivre Sa Vie
London, United Kingdom
Well hello there. My name is Viv (well, it's not really), and, like a lot of people, I'm ever so slightly neurotic... I have panic attacks and anxiety (ranging from mild to pretty intense), on and off. I also have an amazing and quite high-profile job, so I'm choosing to remain anonymous on here. Not because I'm ashamed of the aforementioned neuroses, but because I don't want to be googled and for my colleagues to read bizarre posts about me breathing into a paper bag and popping lorazepam. I've worked for bookshops, mixed arts festivals and charities, and have met (and still meet!) a lot of famous, fetching and fantabulous people for my job. (See, anxiety doesn't need to stop you being AWESOME and doing what you want to do) Here's hoping you'll find some helpful hints and tips on here which will help you tackle the evil panic heebiejeebs... PS. I'm an Australian, but I live in the UK, and have adopted tea-drinking, pubs, Wodehouse, and a Welsh man.
View my complete profile
Wednesday, 12 September 2012

A mean case of the 'shoulds'...

I WANT YOU to do everything differently and to not do that and to do that a bit more and feel grateful that you didn't fight in WWII and that you're not dying of cancer and to pull yourself together and stop being so much like that.

I'm in my twenties, but they're almost over.

I should be having fun.
I shouldn't be sick.
I shouldn't be depressed.
I shouldn't have to take medication.
I should be carefree.
I should be crazy and thoughtless.
 I should be spontaneous and capricious.
 I shouldn't be anxious. 
I should be able to do that easily.
I should be having sex twenty times a week.
I should look like that.
I should be a better girlfriend.
I should be successful by now.
I should make the most of this.
I should think about myself less.
 I should have more friends.
I should be more like her.
I should be almost ready to have kids by now.
I should go to that thing.
I should buy that thing.
 I should change this.
 I should read that.
 I should do that more. 
I should eat more of that.
I should take more of those.
I should stop staying should so much.

I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should.I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should.I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should.I should I should I should I should.I should I should I should I should.I should I should I should I should.I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should.I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should I should.

ENOUGH!!

Am I the only one being pursued by a rabid Shouldasaurus?

'Hi, is that NHS Direct? I keep having recurrent and distressing thoughts that all begin with the words "I SHOULD" and now I've got a touch of self-hating hysteria. Can you send someone with a medical license over to the house straightaway?'


4 comments:

Sandra Nimako - Boatey said...

'I should be having sex twenty times a week.'

That made me laugh out loud! The shouldasaurus is certainly on my back! I tend to walk now and let myself take the shoulds out with me and let them stay out!

I really enjoy your blog btw, it's wonderful written, entertaining and informative. bravo :)

Vivre Sa Vie said...

Hi Sandra - welcome! - and thanks so much for your lovely comments. They mean a huge amount to me, and it's such a relief to know I'm not the only one who reluctantly shares their mind with vindictive, anxiety-provoking demons (although it sounds like you're doing a good job of slaying them)!

V x

Anonymous said...

I really hope that list of "shoulds" is theoretical, especially given that the latest post shows how you like to be busy, so perhaps you are thinking to tackle the "should" list to keep busy? I dunno. I think that "should" largely comes from the meeja and that nobody really fits into a mould, but people spend so much time pretending they do, that it fools everyone else and we end up thinking "I should". I'm older than you and took me a while to understand that I "should" be out on a Friday night was just rubbish and I should be at home about to watch films because I'm knackered from work. Could you adopt one "should" - I "should" be true to myself?

Vivre Sa Vie said...

Hi there - that's a great idea! I will definitely add that new 'should' on to my list - and maybe some more positive ones too. Keep the wise comments comin'! Thanks a lot.

V x

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
 

Blog Template by YummyLolly.com